3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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