I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
