I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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