he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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