so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
