the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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