You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize