why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
