My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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