Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
