finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
