It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
her vagine was all disorganized.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
