oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
we should paint friendship bongs
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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