and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
