Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
