Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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