i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
