If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
