are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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