so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I want to fling myself into the sun
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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