Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize