Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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