Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
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it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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