Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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