I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
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If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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