Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
