Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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