I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
