I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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