think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
