i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
