According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
