Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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