I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
