Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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