My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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