When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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