oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize