can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
