You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
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I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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