It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
