shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
