Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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