I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
