Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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