Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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