Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.