what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
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heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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