That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
