man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
