Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize
