okay pat passed out under dana's car
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
