Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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