I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Operation Purity has been aborted
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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