Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize