people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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