To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
