i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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