What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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