Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They took my balls.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
