You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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